... (febrile_lune) wrote in namechange,
...
febrile_lune
namechange

Hello!

 My favourite name has long been "Alexis", and I've always been able to identify with it. Strongly. I love everything about it, from the phonetics, to the way it looks, to the meaning, to the history and roots. It means "defender/protector of mankind". I didn't find out the meaning until after I knew I loved the name, but I was thrilled, as I'm very passionate about humanitarian issues, and live with the constant goal to do the right thing and make the world as better a place as I can...

Actually, all the names that begin with "Alex", for the most part, have the same or a similar meaning.

The predicament I've got is really quite bizarre. When I was15, I started dating a male named Alexis. The name was actually originally for a male. I like it for either gender. But anyhow, that was really thrilling to me, since I love the name, and I never expected I'd end up with such a horrible experience. In the end, after several years, I broke away from Alexis for good. It is still difficult for me to say this, somehow, but he was really quite abusive and manipulative. So, now it's really hard to think of officially rename myself "Alexis" (I've been thinking of myself as Alexis and have had a couple of close friends call me "Alex" for awhile now)... not so much because I can't detach the association, but I'm worried that other people we know mutually will not be able to. Let's just say, most people who know him really do not like him at all, and are actually enraged with him. My friend suggested I start out as going by "Alex", which would help carry over the transition eventually without the same association with ...him.

I also feel like it is a curse or something! Not really, obviously, but it is a name that means so much to me and there is so little to do about this predicament other than to get over it somehow. I also feel a little upset that it doesn't feel so much of "my own" now. If I did have to go by "Alex" for my entire life, I wouldn't mind. I love that name in general...

My birth name is Kelsi. "Kelsey", but spelled the way a new little sister for Barbie might be spelled, if you ask me. It's all right, and I'd like it on anyone else. Just not me. I used to despise it, just because it didn't seem to "fit", but as I've been giving a name change thought for yers, I've come to accept it since I'm not going to be going by it, anyhow. I think it's cute, but that's part of the problem. I'm often told that it is cute. Nothing wrong with "cute", but I don't feel like the name has any depth to it. I originally was only able to find one meaning for it: "Island-side ships"... uh.  But I later found out it can also mean "brave". Which I like. Courage is a very important virtue to me. However, I still don't think the meaning of the name redeems it...

Has anyone ever been able to relate with difficulties switching to a new name based on negative connotations that you or people around you have had? How do you deal with it?

I have pictures behind the cut, despite that I usually don't like showing my pictures... but I like to see them and see how I think the name fits the face more than "Kelsi" does, perhaps :)





They were mainly taken with a camera phone, so forgive the quality!





I think this community is great, because it recognizes the significance in being able to identify with one's own name. A lot of people in my life are adverse to the idea, but while I don't think a name defines a person, having one that resonates well can be special.
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic
  • 3 comments